![]() However, it was not only my father, who was convicted of this fateful verdict. But I learned quite early that between my mother and my father, my mother needed our support and that, as my mother put it, “ My life is ruined because of this man”. ![]() These violent episodes would come and pass, following the pattern of seasonal change. On such occasions, my sister and I would gather around, holding our mother’s sari, in a vain attempt to shield her from our father. Over the years, the reasons behind her tears have changed but when I was growing up, it was because she suffered physical violence from her husband, a man she had chosen for herself. ![]() For the purpose of this essay, I rely upon those personal experiences, and while this may compromise the integrity of some individuals, my intention is not that at all.Īmong the many memories from my formative years, one stands out to predominate. The strategy is commonly used to keep the subaltern, in their rightful place within a household, in a workplace, or in history.Īs a recovering victim of gaslighting, I have found that deconstructing my experiences in the light of new knowledge and literature has been redemptive. ![]() And although gaslighting has been mostly experienced by women, it goes without saying that the strategy is commonly used to keep the subaltern, in their rightful place within a household, in a workplace, or in history. Gaslighting, unlike its more dramatic portrayal in mainstream media, in reality, exists in most micro-level contexts including an abusive romantic relationship, an abusive parent-child relationship, an abusive boss-employee relationship, and in macro-level contexts such as can be observed among the countries with geopolitical supremacy over others. This implies that the victims cannot be trusted of their experiences, and hence need not be taken seriously. The gaslighter manipulates by substituting the subjective narrative of the victim with theirs, causing the victim to doubt, and lose their personal interpretation of the reality.Īnother definition, given by Kate Abramson highlights the emotional manipulation of the victim such that their perceptions, thoughts, or interpretations of events/actions are treated as misinformed, mistaken, and often as crazy. The abuser, in this case, known as the gaslighter manipulates by substituting the subjective narrative of the victim with theirs, causing the victim to doubt, and lose their personal interpretation of the reality. In their book, When Men Batter Women: New Insights into Ending Abusive Relationships (1998), Neil Jacobson and John Gottman define gaslighting as “ the ultimate form of abuse gain control of the victim’s mind, to make her doubt herself so that she believes the abuser’s view of reality”. The film made over four million at the box office, with Bergman winning an Academy Award, but the original play and its film adaptations are credited for contributing the term gaslighting, in psychological and clinical literature. In the 1944 mystery-thriller Gaslight, Ingrid Bergman plays the role of a woman whose husband manipulates her shrewdly, falsifying or negative hard evidence (including the flickering gaslight), leaving her to deal with disorientation, self-doubts, and hysteria.
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